It has been 15 years since my father passed away! I miss him every day. The pain of losing a parent doesn't fade away, you just learn how to live with it.
I remember the day when he passed away as if it was yesterday… He was in another city, and his health had been deteriorating for years… My father had major heart problems and even had surgery in London almost 10 years prior to his death.
I was in my room… Just sitting… Not doing anything… My mom came into my room and opened the door looking terrified and in tears…
At that moment I knew something terrible had happened. I just did imagine that my dad died. but when she said the words "Dalia, your dad is gone" I felt like my heart was dropping to my feet. I heard her words with an echo. I felt like I was in a nightmare.
I stood in silence for a couple of minutes. My mom looked at me knowing that I couldn't process the news. Deep fear in her eyes. until I finally screamed. I didn't cry. I screamed!
She hugged so tight wanting to take the pain away. She couldn't. This pain never went away. I adapted to it. A never healing wound.
My parents got divorced years earlier. I wasn't the perfect daughter. But I really love my father. I haven't said it enough to him and that is something that I regret.
My father was so generous and very compassionate. He had the purest heart. He was hardworking, he really loved his job, he was an engineer. He was very energetic. He loved traveling. He visited most of Europe. He loved going to the theatre and enjoyed concerts.
I couldn't adjust for months after his death. I was not eating well. I lost so much weight. I didn't really talk to anyone about how I felt. I isolated myself completely.
I hope my dad forgives my mistakes and knows how much I love him. I miss him so much.
I had the greatest dad.
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