Tips to help you become more self assertive

Asserting yourself in a healthy way means communicating your needs and setting boundaries. This can be scary if you're a people-pleaser because it involves saying “no” when needed, expressing worries or concerns, and not allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. 

If you're not used to being self-assertive, it can be hard to know where to start. Here are a few tips to help you become more self-assertive:

1. Believe in yourself.

The first step to being self-assertive is believing in yourself. If you don't think you're worth standing up for, then it'll be much harder to do so. The first person who should stand up for you is yourself. Be your own hero.

2. Know your rights.

Be aware of your rights and what you're entitled to. This will help you feel more confident in asserting yourself. Knowing your rights is necessary for a healthier relationships, friendships and workplace.

3. Be confident rather than hostile.

There's a difference between being assertive and being aggressive. When you're assertive, you're standing up for yourself calmly and confidently. 

4. Practice assertiveness.

If you're not used to being assertive, it can be helpful to practice in easy situations before moving on to more difficult ones. Take baby steps without the need to rush anything but be consistent.

5. Set boundaries.

One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to set boundaries. Boundaries help you protect your time, energy, and resources. Only allow people in your life who respect your boundaries. 

6. Be prepared.

If you know you're going to be in a situation where you'll need to be assertive, it can be helpful to have a plan. This might mean rehearsing what you want to say, how to walk and thinking of responses to possible objections you might receive.

7.  Be polite.

Even though you're asserting yourself, it's still important to be polite. This doesn't mean you have to be a doormat, but it does mean being respectful of others even when you're standing up for yourself.

8. Avoid being passive-aggressive.

Passive aggression is when you indirectly express your anger or frustration. It can actually make things worse. If you find yourself being passive-aggressive, try to be more direct instead.

9. Consult a professional.

A therapist or a life coach can give you more information on assertiveness and assist you in practicing in a secure setting.

10. Self-care

Take the time to focus on yourself and your needs. It helps to identify your core values, or the things that you believe are important and worth fighting for. 

This can also give you the courage and confidence to stand up for yourself and make decisions that are true to who you are. 

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Photo by Los Muertos Crew