In previous posts, I talked about how I go into self-isolation when I'm feeling overwhelmed and how I recently deactivated my social media when I was feeling down. In this post, I'm going to discuss what self-isolation has taught me and why I won't do it again.
Self-isolation is a habit that I developed because I was left to deal with my emotions alone as a kid. I resort to self-isolation so I don't let my bad mood affect others, the fear of not being heard or understood, and thinking I will heal faster alone.
Few of my friends understand when this happens, and I'm thankful for them, but some people considered my self-isolation as a personal attack directed toward them and demanded an explanation as if I meant to actually hurt or punish them! which wasn't true.
I don't blame them and totally understand where they're coming from, maybe I triggered some wounds in them but I also won't tolerate being treated without compassion.
My self-isolation has taught me:
-I'm usually overwhelmed for many reasons but one of them triggers the negative emotion, causing a domino effect.
-People who truly care about me will never consider my solitude as an attack against them.
-Real friends validate my feelings and emotions, even when they don't relate to them, but they never diminish or underestimate how I feel.
-To help people in my life to feel seen, heard, appreciated, and valued, so they don't feel the need to self-isolate.
-To provide a safe space for my friends whenever they need to vent and to allow them to feel supported and understood as much as I can.
Why I won't self-isolate again?
I'm learning not to be afraid to be seen or heard, I self-isolate when I don't want to express myself, when I don't allow myself to receive support when I need it, and that's a version of myself that I'm healing. It's a childhood trauma and I'm working daily to move on from it.
If you self-isolate when you're overwhelmed, understand the deep reasons why you resort to this method, don't judge yourself, and don't be afraid to seek support!
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| Photo by Ryanniel Masucol from Pexels |
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