It has been a month since my last blog post and I am thrilled to return to blogging again after my long and unannounced disappearance.
During this time, I poured my heart and soul into making a poetry collection that will reveal different parts of my life including heartbreak, childhood, grief, and healing.
This collection of poems is titled "My Wounded Queendom".
As an apology for my disappearance from the online world, this collection of poems will be my gift to you, my dear readers, completely free of charge.
I decided to write this collection of poems at the start of the year and kept delaying it because I knew it would be challenging.
When I started writing these poems, I felt like I was revisiting old pain but when I finished writing them, I felt a sense of freedom and healing that I have never sensed before.
This collection of poems exposes my emotions, weaknesses, strengths, and experiences weaved together so my lovely readers will find something to resonate with and help them feel less alone and more understood.
Diving into negative memories, mourning, reflections on the state of the world, and spirituality took me longer than I expected and much more energy.
I cried a lot when I was writing these poems. I had to stop following the news. I had to stop posting on social media. This process drove me unexpectedly into a hermit mode.
"My Wounded Queendom" initially had more poems that I needed to cut them out.
I kept writing then deleting and repeated this process many times because I'm a perfectionist and I'm never satisfied with my work.
When you're reading this collection of poetry please know that each poem is a peek into the depths of my being, an intimate sharing of my vulnerabilities with you.
Thank you for your support during my absence by visiting my blog and emailing me. Your kindness fuels my passion and keeps me going.
I'm very grateful to be able to share my poems with you, so I introduce you to
"My Wounded Queendom"
"Broken twin flames"
They said we looked like each other
But your eyes are greener than Emeralds
And my eyes are darker than sleepless nights
I couldn't soothe your fiery volcanoes
And you couldn't tame my wild hurricanes
But they saw through our twin flames
How we were made for each other
Yet to never be together
"The trap"
I was too busy painting your world with glitter to see the trap you were setting for me
You wanted to draw blood
And when I looked up
It was already too late for me
I got punished for the sins of those who came before me
And you expected me to breathe when my heart didn't beat
"Stolen Innocence"
You were the only one holding the key
You poisoned me and took away my remedy
I counted my steps as the moon watched me leave
And I took one last picture to remind me
How you stole my innocence without even touching me
"Once in a blue moon"
I walked with the blue moon cursing your name
I told her everything you didn't hear
How you built a wall around you but wanted me near
Then you pulled me unarmed to war
She saw the beauty of everything you tore
And how you asked for more
She bathed me in her light
I was never the same after that night
"Shattered Kintsugi"
Shattered pieces of my heart turned into Kintsugi
Something you didn't expect to see
I turn my pain into a golden armor
Your weapons won't pierce me anymore
My soul is shinning like never before
"Temporary comforts"
I watered your plants after you killed mine
Now my sun will leave your garden
And my smile will hunt your daydreams
Your regrets won't fade like smoke
When you return home with your temporary comforts
Stepping on fallen white leaves
After treating me with cruelty
"My day turned into night"
When the sky was roaring you were looking for me
You told me I was brave so you wouldn't hear my story
My tears didn't slow you down
You didn't even turn around
When you saw my day turn into night
"Green memories"
I was wearing green when you were haunting me
You hang my heart on your wall as a trophy
You told me I was an angel at your loud party
Now I sit on the stairs when I hear your laughs
And I cut my hair to wash away your memory
I let you go with forgiveness
Hoping my next love will treat me with tenderness
"Last smile"
You came to my dreams giving me your last smile
You shined like the sun with a heart softer than a river
Now I will have to spend the rest of my life without you
My cousin
My soul sister
Trying not to regret every day we were apart
You taught me everything you know
You listened even during your darkest pain
No poem enough to explain
How much I miss you
"You drew my name like art"
Two pages letter written with my heart
You drew my name like art
Your white Sharpie brightened my skies
I didn't expect you to erase my scars
When you turned my spring into magic
"My forehead kissed the ground"
I prayed to God so you forgive me
But then my brother told me
You had me near your heart
My forehead kissed the ground
Where your secrets are kept with you
"The perfect image"
You were the first one to betray me
The deepest pain that will never heal
You paint the perfect image for others to see
So they never know what you did to me
More secrets to hide the reality
Tainted memories of everything you took from me
"Less and less worthy"
Walking with my head facing the ground
Seeing myself how you saw me
Less and less worthy
To fit the cell where you kept me
Nothing I do is ever enough
When I can never gain your love
"Invisible wounds"
Childhood made from sand castles
Crying under my bed with silent tears
You tell them you gave me the world
After you turned me into a shadow
Lost in a house painted with thorns
Covered in invisible wounds that will forever bleed
When will I ever be free?
"Sleeping on sharp stones"
Searching for your missing kindness in other worlds
Sleeping on sharp stones
Surrounded by walls only you and I can see
You set my dreams on fire
Then raised the walls higher
And told me I should be grateful
For feeding me poison with a spoon made of silver
"Million apologies"
When I turn the page you throw the book at me
I bleed and you blame me
Even a million apologies won't undo
The nightmares you made me go through
There's one thing you never see
You'll never change me
"It doesn't feel like home"
I see the world through my angels' eyes
They never leave my side
I ask them why it doesn't feel like home
They don't give me an answer about where I belong
"Dancing with your sparks"
The path to my heart is softness
Connecting our fingertips
Dancing with your sparks
Exchanging auras with tranquility
Now all you need to do is find me
"Reliable mystery"
I confuse you like wild air
We meet in different dimensions
To talk about our past lifetimes
How our souls have unbroken ties
Then I disappear leaving a presence you taste so personally
Remembered as a reliable mystery
"Howls to heal the world"
Wolves have eyes like portals
With howls that heal the world
Caring for their young and their wounded
Then to be compared with humans?
When all we do is destroy
Killing for joy
"None of us are free"
Their voices are engraved into my memory
I tried pretending not to see
How none of us are free
When the world is filled with so much misery
"I was too sad to say"
I'm grateful for my friends
The ones who walk away
And the ones who stay
The friends who left when I was too sad to say
And the ones who jumped with me and prayed
"Now I can't find you anymore"
I remember the day when could have fit into the palm of my hands
You turned my unspoken loneliness into loud chaos
I gave you a name, my King
I took our time together for granted
Now I can't find you anymore
It was the hardest pain I had to endure
"Your reflection in my eyes"
I keep trying to raise my face a bit higher
Being judged doesn't make me small
I win my battles even before I was born
Unblocking my words
Listening to the unspoken
Staring at the hidden
Praying that someday I will be held gently
Kissed every morning and every night proudly
To be loved face to face
Showing you my naked flaws
Guiding you to my soul
So you crave my heartbeat on your skin
I won't hide my diamond tears
So someday you will see
Your reflection in my eyes
And you will love me more
When I tell you what I haven't told anymore before
Copyright 2024 by Dalia Farouk
I hope you enjoyed reading this collection of poems and I'm looking forward to reading your emails and opinions.
With love,
Dalia
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| My Wounded Queendom |
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