We often search for reasons behind someone's hurtful actions, hoping that external circumstances have compelled them to act toward us in painful ways. But more often than not, those people are aware of the impact their actions have on us, and placing the blame elsewhere only prolongs our own suffering.
The Reality of Intent
First, let's address the undeniable truth: those who hurt us often know what they are doing. When someone ignores your texts or leaves your calls unanswered, it is not a mere oversight. Deliberate silence speaks volumes.
People are capable of weighing the consequences of their actions and if they choose to dismiss you, it is typically a conscious decision. They seem to think that playing ‘hard to get’ or avoiding accountability gives them more power. But let's be clear: it only serves to deepen the wounds.
Similarly, if someone is rude or condescending toward you, they know how their words sting. No one stumbles into hurtful language without realizing the potential fallout.
When someone is manipulating your feelings, they are operating with a full understanding of their offensive tactics. The reality is harsh but necessary to acknowledge: they know you will be in pain, and they proceed with their behavior anyway.
Breaking the Cycle of Excuses
It is natural to want to find justifications for the actions of those we care about. We convince ourselves that they are going through tough times or that they did not mean to hurt us. However, understanding that these behaviors are often conscious choices is liberating. Remember, understanding someone’s pain does not necessitate enabling their toxic behavior.
Making excuses only enables them to continue their actions unchallenged. It is time we stop giving people a free pass to hurt us simply because we feel sympathy for them or want them to be in our lives. It diminishes our own worth and allows toxic behavior to fester.
Confrontation: The Path to Healing
Understanding the truth about someone's behavior opens the door to an essential step: confrontation. This does not always need to be intense or confrontational in nature. It can be a calm conversation where you express how their behavior impacts you. Be clear about your feelings and assert your boundaries. This communication may not be an attempt to change their behavior; but a declaration of your self-worth and a step toward self-respect.
When you confront someone, you give them a chance to acknowledge their actions, whether they take it or not. Even if it does not result in behavior change, you have taken a significant step toward your own emotional health. You have set the precedent that you will no longer tolerate behavior that causes you distress.
Moving On: Empower Yourself
Once you realize that people often know the pain they inflict, the next critical step is to move on, regardless of their response. Holding onto the hope that they will change or feel remorse can weigh heavily on your heart. Instead, focus on your own happiness and healing.
Surround yourself with people who respect your feelings and reciprocate your efforts. Channel your energy into nurturing relationships that uplift and support you. Letting go is a powerful act of self-care.
Karma: A Natural Force
Lastly, remember that karma is real. The universe has a way of balancing the scales, and those who deliberately hurt others will often face the consequences of their actions. While seeking retribution may not be our preference, it is important to understand that the damage they inflict on you will reverberate back to them in ways they might not even foresee.
How to Know if Someone is Deliberately Hurting You
Conclusion: You Deserve Better
Ultimately, stop making excuses for people who have hurt you. Acknowledge their awareness of the pain they cause and take active steps to confront and release that hurt from your life. Surround yourself with love, respect, and positivity. You deserve connections that bring joy and happiness, not toxicity and pain.
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| Photo by MART PRODUCTION |
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